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I Make More $ Than My Husband – Ask Shasta Column

This week's Take Back the Reigns – Ask Shasta Column comes from Esther in Toronto.



Hi Shasta, 

I make more money than my husband…way more.

He seems ok with this, but I struggle at times with this and our friends tease us about this which makes me cringe.  He is a great guy but I am worried that eventually this will create a rift between us – either he will get tired of the teasing or I will feel resentful.

I appreciate any guidance you have.

Thank you,




Dear Esther,

I love this question.

First off just notice the “cultural story” about men and women that still arises.

The story is that men are “real men” when they are the “bread winner” and that women are somehow emasculating of men when we earn more.

This is an outdated and extremely limited view of both the masculine and feminine. 

It also sets up a war on the outside and inside…just what you are speaking to.  

I would also suggest you set a boundary with your friends.

My mentor David Neagle taught me this line to say when people ask about my income: “This is not now nor will it ever be up for discussion.

It may sound strong but it is actually not ok that your friends tease you about this or that you allow it. 

Secondly, notice what it triggers in you.

Do you feel somehow inappropriate because you are a successful woman? I spoke to that in an earlier post – I Don’t Want to Seem Salesy.

The Truth is that when we own our Soul Purpose and offer products and services that meet the needs or wants of clients, we receive an exchange in the form of money for that. This is a holy transaction.

If you are “successful” and creating abundance for yourself and your family then that is a good indicator that you are in true service and Soul Purpose.

Celebrate that!

Lastly, notice if you DO hold any level of resentment towards your husband and if you do consciously or unconsciously hold your success over him. 

What are you making this mean?

Is there a sense of inequality in your relationship that you need to address?

You can have it all…with ease!

Much love,


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